


The Sun From Both Sides

by GorgonDivine



Series: Live For Today [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Universe, Eloping, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Implied/Referenced Torture, Levi Is Still Bad At Feelings, Love, Marriage, Oral Sex, Romance, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-23 22:13:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GorgonDivine/pseuds/GorgonDivine
Summary: An unwelcome duty leads to a turning point in your relationship with Levi, so you decide to take the next step even though the future is uncertain.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after "Sacrifices," but before the graduation of the 104th Training Corps. It probably won't make as much sense unless you've read the others in this series.
> 
> (Smut at the end of Chapter 1.)

“How the fuck have you been in the Survey Corps for so long and never before had to wear a dress uniform?” Levi complained, leaning against the doorway to your bedroom.

“Simple. I’m not the commander, nor am I ‘Humanity’s Strongest.’ I’m just an ordinary squad leader,” you replied calmly, trying to fasten the small buttons on your dress shirt. You had to start over after missing one buttonhole, earning a _tsk_ from Levi.

As soon as you’d finished tucking in your shirt, you reached for the long, belted jacket and began to struggle into that too, but Levi impatiently took it from you, holding it so that you could slide your arms into the sleeves. He then turned you around and buttoned the front as if you were a small child. You allowed him to do so without comment; you’d long ago learned that when Levi was in this sort of mood, it was better to just let him do as he would.

When he finished, you buckled your belt and smoothed down the front. “Well? Do I look like a properly respectable soldier of the Survey Corps?”

Levi looked you up and down. “You’ll do,” he said shortly, with a look that belied his tone. “Come on. I want to get this shit over with.”

The two of you left your quarters and headed to Commander Erwin’s office. On the way there, Levi cast you a sideways glance and remarked in a low voice, “Your hair looks impressive.”

“Thanks. Fen helped me put it up. I’m not used to wearing it this way,” you responded, feeling strange with your hair twisted and pinned up at the back of your head. This was not strictly a military affair, and you’d put in more effort than usual with your elaborate hairstyle. Levi himself looked spectacular, his customary cravat tucked neatly into the collar of his jacket, but then again, he looked good in everything.

When you arrived at Erwin’s door you raised your hand to knock, but before you could, the door swung open to show the commander standing there, formal uniform pristine and not a hair out of place. “Ah, good,” he said when he saw the two of you. “Let’s be on our way, then.”

“The carriage is waiting out front, sir,” you said.

“ _Tch_ ,” was all Levi had to say.

* * * * *

You hadn’t really wanted to accompany Erwin to this event, a New Year’s Eve party being thrown by a member of the nobility who was on good terms with the commander. Although Erwin didn’t exactly order you to go, he made it clear that your attendance was strongly recommended. You weren’t totally against it if it would help the Survey Corps. Erwin seemed to believe it would, which pretty much made the decision for you, even though you still had misgivings.

“I’ve spent my whole life either on a farm or in the military. The fanciest party I’ve ever attended was my older brother’s wedding, and that was held at the village hall. I’m not cut out for this,” you’d lamented to Levi later that night after you’d gone to bed.

“You think _I_ am?” Levi buried his face in a pillow and pulled the covers up almost over his head, somewhat muffling his words. “I hate standing around stupidly so pigs can gawk, and I hate watching Erwin flatter them. I know why he does it, but that doesn’t make it any better. He’s worth more than all of those shits put together,” he grumbled.

“I know why he does it, too -- there’s not enough tax revenue now that we’ve lost so much of our population, and the Corps has to get funded somehow,” you sighed.

Levi had one arm thrown over you, and his hold tightened as he muttered, “Ugh. Those perverts will probably be after you right away, you know.”

You scoffed. “I doubt that. They’re used to women who fawn all over them. Can you really see me doing that?”

“No, but you’re pretty and you don’t look your age,” Levi pointed out from under the blanket. “They’ll think you’re easy prey.”

“They’ll find out they were wrong, then.” You turned to face him. Levi lifted his head and stared at you suspiciously as you continued, smirking. “Besides, what about you, _Captain_ _Levi?_ I bet those nobles are always trying to get you to marry one of their daughters. Better find yourself a rich wife so you can retire and live a life of bloated luxury inside Wall Sina.”

“As if,” he growled. “I’d rather go back to the Underground and sell dirty chamber pots for a living.”

“Their loss,” you said, kissing his shoulder, “is my gain, I suppose.”

A few days later, you’d asked the commander why he wanted you to go along -- usually, it was just Levi who was unfortunate enough to be dragged to these types of social events. You’d never had to do anything resembling outreach before. The commander’s reasoning made sense, however.

“People have already heard of you, Squad Leader. You’re one of the few soldiers to have been in the Survey Corps for so long, and your service has been exemplary.” Erwin had given you one of his deceptively benign smiles before going on, “And in addition, many of the nobles in Mitras have never met a female Survey Corps officer, so you’ll be there to show them that women also serve honorably here. Lord Hermann, our host, is fairly forward-thinking for a man of his class. I feel certain you’ll be up to the task.”

Because Mitras was some distance away from the current headquarters of the Survey Corps, you would have to spend the night in the city. Erwin said that an old friend had offered to put him up for the night and that there was certainly room for you and Levi at his home, but you’d both declined and told Erwin that you would be fine at an inn.

“Don’t worry,” Levi told you when you were alone. “It’s going to be a pain in the ass to go to this thing, but I’ll make it worth your while afterward.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you replied, and had the rare pleasure of seeing him smile.

* * * * *

Not even an hour after your entrance into the ballroom of Lord Hermann’s mansion, you’d decided that, despite their grand titles and lavish lifestyles, these noble folk were no better than the people you’d known back home. At least your family and neighbors had actually known how to make strangers feel welcome, you thought as you forced yourself to smile politely while yet another leering man shook your hand, his gaze sweeping over your body.

You weren’t impressed by the nobles’ expensive clothes or their affected manners, and after seeing the array of decadent refreshments on offer for the guests, you were even a little disgusted. You couldn’t stop thinking of the “reclamation campaign” and the widespread hunger that had led to it, nor remembering the lean times that your family had endured during your youth. Meanwhile, these people consumed luxuries and more than their fair share of basic commodities alike, not at all bothered by the needs of others.

After your arrival, Erwin introduced you to a long line of important people whose names you couldn’t keep straight. Some of them were rudely over-familiar, some looked down their noses at you, and most seemed to regard you as curiously as if you were a talking dog. You remembered that the military had not even allowed women to serve until a few decades ago, and no noblewomen ever joined at all, except perhaps for an occasional runaway daughter who was promptly disowned.

The nobles stared at Levi, too, you noticed -- but whereas the looks you got were speculative, lewd, or dismissive, those who took notice of the captain seemed a bit afraid of him. His having come from the Underground was now common knowledge, but his fearsome reputation both as a (former) thug and as a soldier kept them from sneering, at least to his face. Levi barely acknowledged those who spoke with him, and while he wasn’t overly rude to anyone, his demeanor made it clear that he wasn’t there to make friends.

Erwin, on the other hand, easily conversed with everyone from members of the king’s high council to the footmen who went around serving refreshments. He had the knack of using his natural charisma to good effect when it suited him. It would have been shocking to witness this in action had you not figured out long ago that the commander was as ruthless as he was intelligent, and would use any means necessary to accomplish his goals. Right now, the goal was to secure additional funds for the branch of the military he led. He wasn’t supercilious or ingratiating, however, and was easily the most engaging of the several officers present from all three branches of the military, most of whom you had never met before.

Fortunately, neither your nor Levi had been called upon to do anything other than be social, although you were the only one who made the effort. Levi, having been to two or three of these gatherings before, stalked off to hover at the side of the ballroom away from other people, after having silently shaken hands with the line of dignitaries. You, however, received a great deal of attention from both men and women alike, both as a novelty and as someone who was more approachable than the cold, menacing captain of the Special Operations Squad.

While not all of the other guests were rude, you rapidly tired of playing nice. You had to endure endless rounds of meeting strangers and being asked the same questions over and over. You didn’t have a chance to speak to the few people you actually knew, including Levi, for what felt like hours. When you went in search of a lavatory, some nobleman you’d barely met tried to steer you into a side room, forcing you to evade him as if he were a short, horny Titan. When you said something about needing some fresh air, you were sucked into a conversation where you were forced to debunk the idea -- apparently a popular one -- that women and men shared sleeping quarters and even showers in the Survey Corps.

You were trying to get away from a knot of nobles who had literally cornered you when an older woman, with a far less vapid air around her than the others, suddenly asked, “Squad Leader, what are they like? The Titans, I mean.” Her voice carried clearly through the conversation. Everyone around you fell silent, staring at you with bated breath. Some looked skeptical, others fearful.

You drew in a deep breath, knowing that your answer would be the most important thing you said all night. _Steady, now_. “I won’t lie to you. They’re awful.” You looked around, meeting each of their eyes in turn. “Terrifying. Unearthly. I’ve been fighting them for years, and I still never get used to the sight of them.”

“Have you slain many Titans, miss?” asked a younger lady, clutching the arm of the man beside her.

“Twenty-two by myself as of this last expedition.” There was a universal gasp from the surrounding guests. You lifted your chin. “I hope to eliminate more. I’ve been in the Survey Corps for well over a decade now, and I have no plans to leave until I die or the threat is removed entirely.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” the young woman said in a small voice, her lovely blue eyes full of astonishment.

Your gaze landed on a portrait which hung high on the wall across from you, the woman’s face smiling, surrounded by a soft cloud of dark hair. She reminded you of your adopted mother, dead nearly two years now. You continued speaking, almost as if alone, “To be honest, I’m afraid every time we enter Titan territory. But I want to help defend humanity, so I’ll keep going out there. It’s worth it to know my fight will help protect others from sharing the same fate so many of my comrades have.”

There was silence for a few seconds, then the lady who’d first asked you about the Titans said, in a warmer tone than anybody else had used with you tonight, “Thank you, Squad Leader, and not merely for answering my question.” She gave you a significant look, and you stammered something about being glad to be of service, your face heating up. There were some other murmurs of thanks as well, and the group began to disperse, wandering off to find new conversation or refreshment.

 _I could use a drink right now,_ you thought desperately, looking around. A serving-man came to your rescue with a tray of wine glasses, and you gratefully took one, sipping from it as you sauntered over to where Levi stood, ignoring the attempts of some younger ladies to get his attention.

“You’re going to be the talk of this shitty party before the night’s over,” he said dryly when you reached him. “I saw you just now. They’ll be after _you_ to marry their daughters.”

“I’ll only consider the richest ones,” you replied, tossing your head. Then you edged closer to him, lowering your voice, all your bravado gone. “Seriously, though, this is awful. I want to get away from here.”

“Now you know why I hate these so much,” Levi muttered. “Erwin won’t leave until he knows he’ll get what he wants, which means we’re stuck here for who knows how long.”

“It’s New Year’s Eve. What if we have to stay until midnight? I won’t survive,” you said in despair, draining half your glass in one go before setting it on the windowsill near you.

Levi took your hand and said, as if contemplating an escape from mortal danger, “We’ll have to make a break for it, then.”

You both looked around. Erwin was busy chatting with several important-looking men. The girls had drifted off, disappointed by Levi’s rejection. No one else seemed inclined to approach you, although some curious looks were thrown your way when people noticed you and Levi together. He gestured with a tilt of his head towards the ballroom doors.

“I’ve been here before and this place has a pretty big garden. We can at least get away from these idiots for a while.”

You squeezed his hand. “Lead the way,” you murmured.

* * * * *

The garden, as it turned out, was enormous, a terraced affair the size of the entire training ground at headquarters, cut into the hillside with stone walls, gravel paths, and meticulously trimmed hedges. Since it was wintertime, most plants would be brown and dead anyway, but the place still seemed unnaturally barren to you. You felt amazed that someone would go to such trouble for a “garden” that didn’t even have any flowers or useful plants growing in it.

“This all seems like a waste to me,” you told Levi as you made your way down the central path. “You could put so many trees here, but there are hardly any.”

“Then there’s this shitty thing.” Levi pointed at a large stone fountain, empty due to the cold season. “People in the Underground die all the time because they can’t get clean water, but these spoiled pigs don’t even use the water from that.”

“At least there’s a decent view.” You walked around the fountain and towards the other end of the garden where you and Levi sat down on a stone bench. The moon had gone, but the starlight covered everything in its faint glow, making the surroundings seem ethereal. It was even...romantic, you thought.

“I’m glad no one else is out here. It’s probably too cold for most of them,” you noted, hunching into your jacket.

“The one good thing about these dress uniforms is that they’re warm,” Levi said. He paused, then asked, “So what happened with you and those morons back there? They had you surrounded like a bunch of slobbering Titans.”

“They just wanted to ask questions about me and about the Survey Corps. It was all right, although some of what they asked was ridiculous.” You looked down, scraping one boot idly over the gravel. “Funny that you mention Titans, though. Someone asked about them and I was honest, but I don’t know if they were really listening.”

Your gaze went back up to meet Levi’s. He said nothing, so you went on, “At least no one was trying to grope my ass then. I had at least three men proposition me earlier, and one tried to get me into a room alone with him, as if I was some blushing virgin who’d yield easily to his advances,” you finished with disgust.

“ _Tch._ I was afraid it’d be like that. Those assholes,” Levi said, his face creasing in a scowl.

“Well, you did warn me.” You sighed. “At least the wine is decent, although the food just reminded me of seeing all those people dying outside Wall Rose, so I couldn’t even stuff my face to make up for it.”

“Oh,” Levi said, as if remembering something. He reached into a pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, which he handed to you with a stern look. “You haven’t eaten much since we left headquarters.”

You unwrapped the handkerchief to reveal some small cakes, the same kind you’d seen being passed around for the guests earlier. “Did you actually steal these to eat later? You, Captain Levi of the Survey Corps? Or are these for Hange? I know she always asks you to bring her stuff from these outings,” you said, laughing quietly.

“No, I got them for you,” Levi said, looking straight ahead. You saw that he appeared slightly flustered and your amusement went away, replaced by affection.

“Thank you,” you said more quietly, taking a bite out of one. It was filled with some kind of cream, and so rich that you knew you wouldn’t be able to finish them all. You ate one more and handed another to Levi, which he accepted without comment. “I’ll save the last one for Hange,” you decided, wrapping it back up and putting it in your pocket.

“ _Tch._ Four Eyes can get her own.”

“Why didn’t Erwin have her come with him instead of me? She actually ranks higher than I do.”

Levi looked at you as if you’d lost your mind. “Imagine _her_ around all these idiots with sticks up their asses. I heard she once made some visiting pig throw up by telling him in detail about Titans and their bodily functions.”.

“I guess you’re right.” You leaned against Levi, and he put his arm around you. “I have no idea if I actually made any difference here, though. These people are probably masters of saying one thing while thinking another.”

“At least you scared off those brainless bitches who kept sniffing around me,” Levi grumbled, with a squeeze to your shoulder.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll introduce you to the ladies I met earlier, since they’re not rich or important enough for me. Consider it a favor,” you teased, grinning.

Levi didn’t rise to the bait, however. For a long minute, he kept looking at the faint glow of the stars in the distance until finally he said, in his usual toneless way, “That won’t be necessary. I already know somebody I want to marry.” He turned and met your eyes steadily.

You waited a few seconds to answer him. “Does she want to marry you, too?”

“I don’t know.” His gaze was intense and almost silvery in the starlight. “She’s pretty independent. She might not want to be tied down to a known criminal who kills Titans for a living.”

“But what if she does the same thing, and doesn’t care that you were a criminal?” You reached up to touch his face. “Would that make a difference?”

“It might.” Levi put his other arm around you. “Either way, I still want her.”

You held Levi’s gaze before kissing him briefly, smiling as you felt the tension leave his body. “She’d be a fool to say no,” you murmured.

* * * * *

Commander Erwin looked surprised at first when you requested permission to leave the party. When you informed him of how you’d had to fend off wandering hands and inappropriate comments through most of the evening, however, his expression grew displeased.

“I see,” he muttered. “It wasn’t my intention to subject you to that kind of disrespect, Squad Leader. However, I saw how well you got along with the noblemen earlier and I’ve already heard some good things about you from Lord Hermann's wife, so rest assured that as far as I’m concerned, you’ve done your duty.”

“Thank you, sir,” you said with relief, remembering the woman who'd asked you about Titans.

“I’m going with her,” Levi added in a bored tone, “but you probably already knew that.”

Erwin gave him a wry smile. “Indeed. You’re both dismissed for the night.” he said. “We’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning to return to headquarters.”

Fortunately, it was easy to slip out of the ballroom without having to make any more conversation except for thanking the host for his hospitality, though a number of people noticed your departure. “They’re probably confused as shit right now,” Levi observed dryly as you made your way out of the stately residence, “what with you fending off all those rich assholes and then leaving with the likes of me.”

“They’d better credit me for my good taste,” you said.

The streets of Mitras were crowded with townsfolk making merry as they awaited the New Year. It was only a short distance to the place where you’d decided to spend the night. “It’s not full of cutthroats and the hallway doesn’t reek of piss, so it's better than a lot of places I’ve slept,” Levi remarked. He paid the innkeeper and after someone had come down saying a fire had been started for you, the two of you climbed the stairs leading to your room.

“They have hot water here,” Levi told you once you were inside. “Want a bath?”

“That would be nice,” you said longingly, wanting nothing more than to get out of your dress uniform and get Levi out of his.

He gave you a _look_ and went into the tiny adjoining bathroom to run the water. You took off your coat, laying it over a chair, then your stiff new boots, sighing as you wiggled your toes before pulling off your socks. Reaching up, you undid your hair, shaking it loose and piling the hairpins on the bedside stand. You flopped back onto the bed and closed your eyes. In a few minutes, Levi called you to come get into the tub.

You stood and stripped, wondering where Levi was. When you entered the bathroom, however, you were surprised to find his clothes in a tidy pile on the floor and himself already in the large bathtub. “I thought you hated sitting there ‘stewing,’ as you’ve called it?”

“I don’t mind if it’s with you,” he said. He held out his hand and you took it, stepping carefully into the tub and sitting down with your back to him. The water was indeed hot but not uncomfortably so, and you sighed as the steam rose around the two of you. Levi scooted closer and drew you against his chest.

“I was serious earlier,” he said offhandedly. His hands came up to rub soothing circles into your tense neck, fingers deftly moving over your damp skin. “I want to marry you. I have for a while.”

You turned around to look at him, your voice warm. “Like I said, I’d be a fool to say no. But if we did get married, would it change anything?”

He was silent for a minute, thinking. “It wouldn’t change the fact that we’re both in the Survey Corps, no,” Levi finally said. “I know you don’t want to ask for a discharge, and to be honest, I don’t really want you to, either. You’d already served for years before I met you. I haven’t got the right to ask you to give that up.”

“Well, there’s no question of _you_ leaving. I know how dedicated you are to Erwin, and I’m not going to stand in the way of that,” you declared, shaking your head. “And he’s right -- the Corps does need you. It needs me, too. Neither of us is going to leave, unless...” You paused, taking a deep breath.

Levi’s hands slowed, then moved down to your shoulders, his fingers rubbing away the tension there as well. “There’s that,” he said in a dark tone. “But I thought about it, and I decided that not being married wouldn’t make it any less fucking awful if you died.”

You turned to look at him earnestly. “We’ve come this far already. I’d rather marry you, even if I’m going to lose you right afterward, than regret not doing it while we had the chance.”

Levi’s hands stilled as he gazed at you, his eyes wide. Then he somewhat clumsily turned you around in the tub so you ended up facing him, straddling his lap. “When?” he asked, letting his hands slide down your back as he held you.

You leaned your forehead against his. “After we get back to headquarters, as soon as we can manage it, we can go to town and sign the papers. I’ll tell Anders afterward.”

“Should we have a wedding?” Levi asked, still stroking you.

“Not unless you really want to.” You pulled back a bit and smiled. “I just want to marry you as soon as possible.”

“I’m the same.” He kissed you, adding, “I’ll have to tell Erwin...why we’re both going off to town at the same time...but he’d probably figure it out anyway...even if I didn’t,” he remarked. “I’ll make him keep it...to himself until...we’re ready to tell anyone else.”

“Then it’s settled,” you said, a bit breathlessly since Levi had started kissing you in between words.

He paused with his mouth against your neck. “Do you want a ring?”

“If I have one, so should you.”

“We’ll worry about that later,” Levi decided as he continued trailing his lips over your skin. His hands were making their way around your body as well.

You closed your eyes and leaned into his touch, shivering. “We haven’t actually washed yet, you know,” you reminded him, letting your fingers glide through his steam-damp hair.

“I don’t care,” he said lowly, tipping his face up to yours. The way he looked at you made your insides melt.

Levi managed to stand up, bringing you with him, and hoisted you in his arms as he stepped out of the tub. He set you on your feet and reached for a towel, which he put around your shoulders before taking another and wrapping it around his waist. You left the bathroom and went back into the bedroom, which had warmed considerably by now. Neither of you bothered lighting the lamp.

Levi guided you over near the bed and took your towel away, drying you all over before letting it drop to the floor. He was still wet, water droplets glistening on his body. You took a step nearer, reached down and undid his towel with a single tug, then started drying him off, moving more slowly than he had and letting your hands glide over his bare skin from time to time.

He released a shaky breath. “It’s like that, huh?”

“Like what?” you asked innocently before going to your knees to dry his legs. You could see that he was mostly hard already, but you ignored his erection until you’d finished. “There. Done.”

You cast the towel aside and glanced at him with a knowing smirk. He gazed down at you unsmiling, but there was heat in his steel-colored eyes. Before Levi could say anything, you’d leaned forward and licked a slow, wet stripe all the way from the base of his shaft along the underside to the head. He let out a growling moan, and you smiled to yourself as he rapidly got hard all the way. You reached forward and took him in hand before your mouth closed over him.

“ _Shit._ ” Levi let his fingers tangle in your damp hair. His breathing sped up as you started moving, taking him in and stroking what you couldn’t fit -- for a man of diminutive height, Levi was well-endowed.

You squeezed your thighs together, your cunt aching as his soft curses and the hitch in his breathing told you how much Levi was enjoying your mouth. By now, you'd memorized all the ways to touch and lick which drove him crazy, and it wasn’t long before you had him quivering and half-hunched over you, his face unguarded and full of need, the way only you ever got to see him. You were prepared to keep going until he finished, but Levi had other ideas.

“Stop,” he breathed, gently moving your head away. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“Aww, too bad,” you murmured, but you let him help you to your feet. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you so passionately that your knees weakened, then did it again while walking you towards the bed. Neither of you was willing to let go of the other, so Levi reached out with one hand and yanked the covers back before clambering onto the bed and dragging you along. You wound up falling on top of him, legs entwined and his cock pressed against your lower belly.

You shivered as Levi’s teeth nipped at your sensitive skin. He knew exactly where to kiss, where to bite or suck as his hands wandered over you, cupping one breast and flicking your nipple with his thumb, his other hand moving down to squeeze your ass. You turned his face towards yours for another deep kiss, tasting each other’s mouths. You wanted to touch him as well.

You slid off him and somehow, you both ended up on your sides. Wrapping a leg over Levi’s hip, you moved your hand down his torso, stopping just short of his erection before you leaned forward and sucked one of his nipples _hard_. He uttered a loud moan, fingers digging into where he’d gripped your thigh, and swore with feeling when you did the same thing to the other one and stretched your hand down past his cock to stroke his balls. Levi made a strangled noise before yanking your lower body close enough to grind against you, his fingers tracing your slit until he found your entrance.

“So fucking wet.” His eyes were glazed, a dark flush was painted across his cheekbones, and all you wanted was to devour him. “Want you,” he gasped. “ _Now._ ”

He shifted against you again and you squirmed as the head of his cock rubbed against you  _just right_. “Yeah...I want you inside me.”

Instead of changing position, however, Levi wedged himself between your thighs, wrapping his arms around you as he entered in a long, hot slide that you felt all the way through your body. You gripped him tighter, your legs wound around him as he began rocking into you with slow, deep thrusts that made your toes curl.

“Levi, oh, it’s so good,” you hissed.

He uttered a needy moan from deep in his chest but kept moving with those deliberate thrusts, and it was driving you insane. You’d never felt so close to him, never before wanted to just melt into him the way you did now. Levi fixed his hazy eyes on your face, and the ache in your heart only got sweeter when he spoke.

“I fucking love you,” he growled, his embrace tight and possessive. You tried to press yourself even closer to him, matching each movement of his hips with your own, grinding deliciously against every thrust.

The firelight danced over your bodies, flickering shadows illuminating Levi’s pale skin against yours, but the heat in the fireplace couldn’t compare to what you were feeling now. It seemed like it went on forever, pleasure rising to overtake you like an oncoming storm. Suddenly you wanted him to lose himself in your arms, wanted to hear him moan your name.

“I love you too,” you breathed, your lips trailing hot kisses along his jawline. “I’m yours, always.” He shuddered and for a second, his thrusts lost their steady rhythm. “Levi,” you whispered, your face close to his. “I want it harder. I want _you._ ”

Levi stopped moving, then suddenly flipped you both over so that you were underneath him. You arched your spine when he started thrusting faster, rough, desperate noises coming out past his gritted teeth. You cried out wildly as his hips slapped against your thighs, the sounds lewd and urgent over the crackle of the fire.

A Titan could have burst in through the window and you wouldn’t have noticed because there was only your body and Levi’s, the creaking of the bed, your gasps and his heavy breathing, the way he buried his face against your neck, moaning as he continued plunging into you. From somewhere far away you heard yourself almost sobbing his name. He cursed, his words strained, and you were about to fall apart...

You bit down hard into the hollow of Levi’s shoulder, writhing in ecstasy. Levi uttered a gasp of pain but continued fucking you through your orgasm as you cried out, his thrusts growing wilder, sweat dripping from his hair. Finally, he slammed into you and his body shook as he came with your name on his lips. He collapsed on top of you briefly before rolling over onto the bed, taking you in his arms again once you both calmed down.

There was the sound of footsteps approaching your door, followed by a timid knock before you heard the innkeeper’s voice. “Is...is everything all right, sir? Madam?”

“We’re fine, now fuck off,” Levi snapped at the closed door. The footsteps receded hurriedly. You covered your face with your hands, your face burning now that you’d mostly regained your senses. Levi sounded faintly amused. “Guess they’ve never heard anybody actually enjoying sex, but then again, look where we are and what kind of stuffy idiots live here.”

Your embarrassment melted into laughter. You started to say something about how it was good that you’d never have to show your faces at this inn again, but were interrupted by the sound of cheering and tin rattles being shaken, both downstairs and outside in the street. The distant boom of fireworks sounded from the direction of the mansion you’d been in earlier. It was midnight, you realized.

“Happy New Year,” Levi said quietly. He settled more comfortably into the bed, trying to comb out your hair with his fingers. It was a tangled disaster.

You laid your head on his chest, yawning. “Happy New Year to you, too.”

Eventually, of course, Levi made you get up so you could both take a proper bath.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days after your return from Mitras, Levi appeared at your quarters in his suit and a heavy, dark cloak. Nothing about him would suggest to a casual observer that there was anything different from any other day when he was not on duty, but you could tell that he was on edge from the way he impatiently shifted his stance. Once you were ready, however, he seemed riveted by the sight of you.

You wore a crimson dress with a wide split skirt since you never bothered to ride sidesaddle, and a black velvet riding coat you’d bought in Trost years ago, and which still fit. You’d cut your hair, and it now fell a little past your chin, framing your face. Levi touched your cheek, moving a few stray strands back.

“I can see your eyes better now,” he said, leaning in to kiss you. “Let’s go.”

He’d had two horses saddled for your trip, one of which was Atalanta. She was getting older, and it wouldn’t be long before they sent her to pasture for breeding. This was going to be a serious mission, though, and you were glad she was coming along.

Snow had fallen the day after you returned to headquarters, but it wasn’t so deep that it hindered travel. Already, the supply wagon going out of and back to headquarters had cut its tracks into the road, so you followed the wheel-marks easily and were soon riding along pavement as you entered the town, the clop of the horses’ hooves only slightly muffled by the snow.

“You’ve been quiet,” Levi said, raising an eyebrow as you arrived at the public stable where you were going to leave the horses. “Nervous?”

“A little,” you admitted. “I don’t know why, though. It’s not as if we don’t know what we’re doing, or haven’t considered this.”

“It’s something neither of us has ever done before,” Levi said, reaching out as you dismounted. You didn’t really need his help, but you took his hand anyway. He held onto you as you slid off Atalanta’s back and landed easily on your feet. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“None.” Your grip on his hand tightened. “Are you?”

“ _Tch_. As if you even need to ask,” he scoffed, although he avoided your gaze.

“You’re nervous too,” you said softly. Levi ignored your comment, which only made you smile.

“Let’s do this.” He released your hand and offered you his arm instead. You slid your arm through his and the two of you walked into the street, heading for the town hall. At the steps leading up to it, he paused and leaned close to speak into your ear, “Last chance to back out.”

You shook your head, smiling. “Uh-uh. You’re not getting rid of me now.”

It didn’t take long at all. You filled out the banns for public notice, which were more of a formality than anything else since no one was going to contest this. You both signed the certificate and wrote your names, ages, and military ranks in the register, though the clerk’s eyes widened when he saw Levi’s name there. An officiant was called to hear your vows, the clerk and his assistant serving as witnesses. Once it was over, Levi turned to you and kissed you briefly, holding both your hands in his.

“Congratulations, Captain, Squad Leader,” said the officiant, beaming.

You smiled at him and Levi gave him the briefest nod of acknowledgement before picking up your copy of the rolled-up, tied certificate and tucking it inside his jacket. The two of you went out of the hall and back into the street.

You could hardly believe that you had actually done it. It didn’t seem real until Levi, who had been walking rather quickly as if looking for something, suddenly made for a narrow, empty alley between two shops, hurrying you along with him. He stopped a little ways in, out of sight of passers-by, and took hold of your face before kissing you with everything he still found so difficult to say out loud. When he drew away, you were flushed and out of breath.

“There,” he murmured with a small smile. “Now we’re properly married.”

“I don’t think so. You need to convince me some more,” you replied, reaching out for another kiss.

It was with difficulty that you both remembered where you were and managed to calm down enough to come out of the alley and resume walking, arm in arm. There was only one more thing to do before you headed back.

* * * * *

Neither the guards at the gate nor the young soldiers scrubbing out the stables acted as if they knew anything. But as you left your horses and began walking back towards the main building, you saw a couple of faces peering out of a ground-floor window before catching sight of you and vanishing. You and Levi shared a look as your suspicions were roused.

“Something’s definitely up.” You pulled open one of the heavy wooden doors to enter and looked around. No one was in sight, though you thought you heard footsteps receding in the distance.

“ _Tch_. I knew Erwin wouldn’t keep it to himself.” Levi said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go find them, like they obviously want.”

It took you a little while. The mess hall was deserted since it was well after lunchtime, and Erwin’s office was strangely empty as well. As soon as you pushed open the door to Levi’s office, however, there came a loud roar from the people crammed inside, who descended on you with glee: Levi’s squad, your squad (including a weeping Anders), Erwin, Hange, Moblit, Mike, a number of other Survey Corps soldiers, many of the medical and kitchen staff, even the head stableman, who said he would’ve brought Atalanta up and hidden her in the office too, if you hadn’t already ridden her to town. You were touched and grateful for your friends’ good wishes and happiness for you, and although Levi didn’t say much except to utter a loud _tsk_ , you and everyone else knew he was, too.

The kitchen staff had secretly baked a cake which was quickly cut up and passed around. Several bottles of wine were also opened, and several more thrust at you as wedding gifts. Hange gave you each a pair of matching, hideous socks she’d knit herself and had forgotten to give you at the Solstice. Petra shyly offered a box of candied violets, which earned smiles from both you and Levi. Both your squad and Levi’s had gotten together and bought a pair of silver wine goblets, and although you were taken aback at the expense, you were also warmed to the heart by their gesture.

Eventually, after much well-wishing and proffered hugs (which you returned gladly, and which Levi endured with the same stoic expression he always wore), the room began to clear out as people returned to work. On his way out, Erwin congratulated you and added that neither of you needed to return to duty until the following day.

“Thank you, sir,” you said, smiling up at him. “Was all this your idea?"

“Er, no, I can’t take credit, though I may have mentioned something in passing to one or two people these last few days,” Erwin said with no trace of guilt, returning your smile and ignoring Levi’s glare.

“I won’t trust you to keep a secret again!” Levi said accusingly, but the commander only laughed as he left the room.

Once everyone had gone, you shut the door, overwhelmed. Levi’s desk was covered in gifts and the remains of the wedding cake sat in the center, demolished as if a horde of locusts had descended in your office. A few stray plates and cups sat scattered around the room, accidentally overlooked by the kitchen staff. For once, however, Levi didn’t complain about the untidiness of his office. He dropped into one of the armchairs and reached for you. You sat down on his lap and leaned against him, closing your eyes.

“Look at this,” Levi said, and pulled out the marriage certificate. Unrolling it, you looked at your names written there. A copy of it remained at the town hall, and that evening’s paper would carry the legal announcement of your union.

“I won’t be surprised if the news gets out before the banns even get published that ‘Humanity’s Strongest Soldier’ has just dashed all those poor women’s hopes, judging from the way the clerk stared at you when he realized who you were,” you teased.

“ _Tch_ ,” Levi said, setting the certificate aside. He didn’t look very sorry at all.

* * * * *

When you went downstairs to the mess hall at dinnertime, you were better prepared, but you were still left speechless when, upon your entry, the assembled Survey Corps members stood up and clapped, shouting out their congratulations as well. Levi gestured for them to all sit down, but nobody could miss the way you were beaming, or that the captain didn’t seem the least bit annoyed by the ruckus.

Dinner went as usual. Hange complained of not being very hungry due to having ingested too much cake earlier, which she blamed on you and Levi. While they were bickering, Anders approached your table. He sat down behind you in an empty chair, and you turned around to talk to him.

“Hey sis.” His boisterous voice was gentle. “Are you okay?”

You nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m really happy. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you beforehand. I was going to tell you when we got back from town, and we weren’t going to tell anyone else for a _while_ ,” you added archly, flicking your eyes toward the commander.

Anders followed your gaze and then lowered his head, grinning. “Oh. Well, if you’re happy, I am too.” He straightened, his handsome face becoming earnest. “I forgot to give you something earlier during all the excitement.” He held out a small envelope, which you took and carefully opened, gasping when you realized what lay inside.

“Where…” You covered your mouth, unable to speak. Anders was smiling, though it was tinged with sadness, too. Next to you, Levi noticed you and your brother, and turned around to see what was going on. “H-how did you get these?” you finally managed.

“Mom’s last package from home.” Anders took your hand in his larger one. “I saved out the seeds from the apples she sent us, though I don’t know why even I thought of it at the time. I just found them the other day.” He gave your hand a squeeze, looking between you and Levi. “I’d like you two to take these and plant them someday. I bet you can get them to become trees, sis. You were always better at making things grow than I was.”

“Thank you, Anders,” Levi said, and he sounded honestly grateful. “We’ll do that.”

“Yeah, thanks kiddo. This means a lot to me,” you said, hugging your brother, before he got up and went back to his table. You put the envelope in the pocket of your skirt and tried to finish your dinner, but your appetite had vanished.

Levi noticed you had quit eating. “Want to get out of here?” he said in a low voice.

“Today has been wonderful, but…” You looked at him entreatingly.

“Yeah, I know. Come on,” he said with a half-smile.

When the two of you started to leave the mess hall, raucous wolf whistles arose, along with some catcalls. “Go get him, honey!” Hange called, her nausea apparently forgotten.

You couldn’t look at anyone, but Levi put his arm around you. Without turning around, he made an obscene gesture at the entire room, not caring that Erwin was still sitting at the table, fork hovering between his plate and his open mouth. The doors to the mess hall shut behind you on the good-natured laughter that followed.

* * * * *

It was amazing how quickly your exhaustion evaporated and Levi’s mild annoyance was forgotten once you were alone. You didn’t even wait until you got to the bedroom to finish what you’d begun in the alley hours before, stripping away just enough clothing before Levi pushed you against the wall and drove himself into you. Then after the first rush of passion was past, you’d made your way into your bedroom and taken off the rest of your clothes before falling onto the bed for another round, which left you a little surprised that the bed frame hadn’t fallen apart.

The third time, however, was slow and dreamy -- Levi’s hands caressing your skin, your arms around him, all shuddering moans and soft whispers that left your heart soaring as he murmured things you’d never heard him say out loud. He’d probably only _tsk_ at you if you ever brought them up again, but you would remember.

Afterward, you curled into each other, the fire in the grate crackling. You were about to doze off when Levi shifted and sat up suddenly. “Shit. We forgot all about the rings,” he said, blinking.

You sat up as well, astonished. “I can’t believe it! Is the box still in your coat?”

“It better be.” Levi got out of bed and you watched the firelight paint his skin golden as he found his coat and rummaged through it. “Here it is,” he said with relief. He got back into bed and opened the box. Inside lay two plain gold bands, yours somewhat smaller than his, representing a month’s salary from each of you. It was worth it, though.

“We should’ve done this earlier, when everyone else was here,” you said, picking up Levi’s ring and holding it up to the firelight.

“I think I like it better this way.” Levi watched you steadily. “Want me to put this on you now?”

You drew a deep breath. There’s something I need ask of you first,” you said, closing your hand around Levi’s ring.

“Anything,” he said.

“If I’m ever separated from you, by death or circumstance, tell me you’ll keep fighting -- for Erwin, for our friends, for whoever or whatever else you believe is worth the effort.” He tried to speak, but you laid a finger on his lips. “Give me your word. I don’t want my absence to be the reason that you can't go on.”

Levi gently moved your hand aside so he could answer you. “You've got it. And I want you to give me the same oath.”

“I will. I promise.”

He sat there just looking at you for a long minute, then took your hand and slid your ring onto your finger. You did the same for him, and clasped both his hands in yours. “Don’t die anytime soon,” you added. “I know, I know, you can’t promise that and neither can I. But...just don’t.”

“You too,” he said.

**_Three years later_ **

“You know, ma’am, you could’ve had the cooks do this,” you said, watching the small, blonde girl trying to roll out a pie crust.

“I know, but I like to learn for myself. I don’t ever want to be someone who can’t do anything on her own,” she replied determinedly, moving the rolling pin rapidly in all directions. Eventually an even crust was produced and the dough carefully lifted and put into an awaiting pie tin. That made seven, you counted. Two more to go.

“Yaaaay!” Some of the children ran in, excited that they were going to be eating pie later that the queen had made with her own two hands. _No, not the queen_ , you thought. _Historia, who they love for herself._

“If you don’t mind my saying so, ma’am, I never imagined when I enlisted in the military years ago that one day, I’d be standing in a farmhouse helping the Queen of the Walls bake pies,” you said cheerfully as you mixed more dough in a large bowl.

Historia laughed, the sound sweet as bells ringing. “Really? Are my efforts that bad?”

“Oh, not at all,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s just that it’s hard to know the future, and you have to be ready for it to take you places you never dreamed of. But I suppose you already knew that,” you added, smiling at her.

“Yes, I do,” She paused to shoo one of the children away from the bowl holding pie filling before asking, “Have you heard from Captain Levi recently?”

“He’s supposed to be coming out here within the next day or so, although I don’t know exactly when,” you replied.

HIstoria cast you a knowing look, which you didn’t see. “Then we’d better hurry up and finish baking these. I’m sure the captain will want you all to himself for a while,” she teased. You felt your face grow warm and she laughed again. “I’m kidding, Squ- I mean,” she corrected, using your name. “I’m so used to calling you ‘Squad Leader.'”

“Frankly, whenever someone starts asking for me as ‘the queen’s personal guard,’ I still look around to see who they’re talking about,” you confessed.

“You’ll get used to it, the same way I’m getting used to people saying ‘Your Majesty’ all the time, although I wish they’d just use ‘ma’am’ like you do,” Historia said, crimping the edge of the pie she’d nearly finished.

“But you wanted me to call you that,” you reminded her, "and it’s my duty to refer to you with whatever you find appropriate.”

“I know, but it’s still strange. After all, you were my commanding officer only a couple of months ago.” Historia shook her blonde hair back without touching it, since her hands were covered in bits of dough and flour. “Would you mind if I asked you something personal?” she asked with a bit of hesitation.

“No,” you said, rolling out more pie crust. “I don’t mind at all.”

The young queen said softly, “Do you regret leaving the Survey Corps? I know it means you’re away from Captain Levi most of the time, but beyond that, are you sorry not to be a squad leader anymore?”

You paused before answering her while memories flickered across your mind: Anders losing his leg and resigning from the Corps. Eren Yeager transforming into living fury, towering meters of muscle and sinew. Levi crying soundlessly in your arms. Rubble in the streets of Stohess, a girl sleeping in a crystal prison, the eyes of a Titan staring from inside Wall Rose. Getting hauled off to jail in disgrace with most of the rest of the Survey Corps. Being tortured because they thought that surely, Levi’s wife would know where he and his squad were hiding. Sleepless and pain-filled nights, trying to comfort young soldiers huddled in the cell around you. The look on Levi’s face when he finally saw you again. Rod Reiss’s horrible, bloated Titan body dragging itself towards Wall Rose. Historia’s coronation and Erwin’s request immediately after.

_“Frankly, Historia needs more people around her who aren’t tied to the nobility. You’re a seasoned soldier as well as being level-headed and cautious, and you’re more suited than anybody else to be one of the queen’s personal guards,” Erwin had said. “Moreover, you were her squad leader for a short time, and she already knows and trusts you.”_

_“Is...is this an order, sir? Are you telling me to resign from the Survey Corps?” you’d asked, bewildered and shocked._

_Erwin leaned forward, placing his remaining hand flat on the desk before him. “Each commander from the three branches of the military has been told to choose one candidate to join the queen’s full-time personal guard. I’ve chosen you.” He paused, than said with genuine regret, “I know this will mean being separated from Levi again, and I’m truly sorry for that. But the world is changing in ways we’re all finding difficult to adjust to, and I firmly believe you are the best choice for this role.”_

_“I suppose there’s really no way I can turn this down, is there?” you asked, thinking of the people in your squad, of your determination to kill as many Titans as possible, of your years learning to survive as a soldier of the Survey Corps, and of Levi._

_“You can refuse if you wish, but please understand that someone less capable will probably be appointed in your place. You know what the nobles are like, even with the false king and his high council gone.” His face looked grim. “Historia is still young, and while she’s proven herself both courageous and willing to help the people she rules, she also needs to be kept safe by those who won’t be compelled to obey anyone but her. You can provide that.”_

Your thoughts came back to the present. “It took some adjustment,” you said slowly, letting your hands go still as you looked away at things the other couldn’t see. “I enlisted when I wasn’t much older than yourself, ma'am. This is the longest time I’ve ever spent without going outside the Walls, one way or another, since I joined the Survey Corps.”

Historia’s blue eyes were wide with something almost like apprehension, but you hastened to add, “And no, I don’t regret it. Levi once told me that having regrets was useless, so I try not to have them. I'm proud and honored to be in your service.” You smiled at her, and Historia finally smiled back.

“I'm glad,” she said. “I’m selfishly relieved that you’re here with me. And...I know what it’s like, missing someone.” You thought you knew who she was talking about, but you also knew better than to mention Ymir’s name. Historia trusted you more than many other people in her life, and you were willing to repay that trust by keeping her secrets as well.

When things were finished and the mess cleared away, you put the pies into the large oven and checked the clock. “All that needs to be done now is to keep an eye on them to make sure they don’t burn. When they’re ready, we can take them out to cool and get them out of the way of the cooks before it’s time to make dinner,” you said, wiping your hands on a towel. “That’s all there is to it. Now you know how to bake a pie, ma’am.”

“Thank you! I’m so glad!” Historia clasped her hands together with girlish delight, and you couldn’t help but smile. “I’m going to tell the others. Will you stay here and watch the pies?”

“Of course,” you said. The queen washed her hands at the sink and hurried away, the door banging shut behind her. You moved further from the hot oven and sat down at a wooden table by the window, reaching into your pocket to retrieve the ring you’d taken off while baking. You hadn’t told Historia or anyone else, but it had actually been Levi, rather than the commander, who had convinced you to enter her service.

_“Everything Erwin said is true,” he’d said grudgingly. “He wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t sure about you being the right one.”_

_“It’s not just about wanting to rid the world of Titans anymore, I suppose. There’s a lot we still don’t know or understand yet, and people are going to need Historia to lead them forward. If I can help keep her safe, I should. But I don’t want to leave you, Levi,” you added miserably._

_“I don’t want to leave you, either.” He stood by a window, and in the light from the late afternoon sun, he seemed both older and younger than he really was. You said nothing, looking at each other somberly until Levi drew a deep breath before speaking again._

_“There’s another reason you should do it, though,” He paused, then let out his next words while avoiding your gaze. “The way it stands now, especially with those brats turning out to be Titans and what we've started to learn about how the world is, I think you’d actually be safer guarding the queen than staying in the Survey Corps.”_

_You stared at him in silence. A swell of anger began to rise inside you, choking back anything you might have said. You felt your fists clench._

_He’d glanced up to see your tense expression before going on, “I know you want to help take back Wall Maria, and I know you’ve been in the Survey Corps longer than almost anyone else now, especially me. It’s still your decision." He took a step closer to you. "But when Hange told me that you’d been thrown in jail -- and later, when I saw you after Erwin got everyone out of there, I was just...” Levi gritted his teeth and looked away again._

_You gazed at him for a long moment before your anger suddenly vanished. “...you were terrified, just like the time I volunteered for the recovery squad,” you finished slowly. “You can’t afford to be worried about me while you do what needs to be done, protecting Eren and making sure he gets to that basement. So you want me to be far away from whatever you’re going to charge into with Erwin, because otherwise your concern for me will just hinder you.”_

_It had come to this at last, after years of telling yourselves that your feelings would never conflict with your duty. It was bittersweet to realize that you and Levi were human, after all, and that even reckless courage and the wisdom of experience were sometimes no match for love and all the things that came with it._

_“Right.” Levi pushed a hand through his hair, his face dark. “I’m sorry. I fucking hate being like this,” he muttered angrily._

_You took him into your arms, holding on until you felt him start to relax. “I have to admit, I don’t entirely hate it, though, because I know what it means.”_

_“Even though I’m also a sadistic bastard who’s done some shitty things lately,” Levi mumbled tonelessly, making it a statement rather than a question._

_“Even though. Levi, I know who you are. And the Interior Squad beat the shit out of me and would’ve killed me if they thought it’d drag you out of hiding, so I don’t feel as terrible as I probably should about what you did to any of them.”_

_Levi exhaled, resting his forehead on your shoulder. “I said I didn’t have the right to ask this of you, didn’t I? I feel like an asshole saying it to you now.”_

_“You couldn't have known what would happen.” His arms came up around you then, and he held you tightly as you added, with a deep sigh, “I’ll do it since you’ve asked me to, but I’m going to miss the Corps -- and you -- so much.”_

_“Likewise,” he muttered. “I’ll get away when I can. We’ll see each other as often as possible.”_

_“One day,” you said, trying to sound hopeful, “you won’t have to ‘get away’ because we can be together all the time. That’s what I’m going to tell myself for now.”_

_Levi groaned, and you thought he was going to lecture you again about the high probability of one or both of you dying in battle, but all he’d said was, “Maybe that’s not such a bad plan.”_

You slid your wedding ring back onto your finger, where it belonged. Outside, the afternoon was winding down. You peered into the oven to see that the pies were about halfway done, and after rotating a couple of them to bake more evenly, you shut the oven door and went to look out the window. Historia was talking to some other members of Levi’s new squad who had come out to the farm to see their friend and do some chores, although it seemed like they weren’t getting much accomplished at the moment.

The kitchen door suddenly opened and shut behind you. “Something smells good,” Levi announced, walking straight over to you. He drew you into his arms and you stood there holding each onto other. “I heard you showed Historia how to make a pie. They had to restrain Sasha from busting in here.”

You gave Levi a quick kiss. “I’m glad you’re here. How long are you staying?”

“Just tonight, but Historia sent a message to Nehale to come with me,” Levi told you. He was referring to one of the queen’s other bodyguards, a woman who’d formerly served in the Garrison. “You and I can spend a few days in Mitras before I go back to headquarters.”

“Mmm, good. I’ve missed you,” you murmured, kissing him again. This time it lasted longer, at least until you both noticed Levi’s squad peeking through the window and giggling. Eren's eyes had gone round, Armin's face was red, and Sasha wasn’t even looking at you, her eyes desperately searching the kitchen for any sign of the pies.

Levi’s glare made them all freeze. “Get your asses back to work!” he barked. They yelped and scattered -- even Historia, who was no longer obligated to do anything Levi told her to do. You had to let go of him and hang onto the table instead because you were laughing so hard.

“ _Tch_. Those brats.” He eyed the table you were leaning against. “At least this place is decently clean.”

“I’ve _really_ missed you,” you told him, wiping your eyes.

* * * * *

Later that night, well after dinner and the triumphant serving of Historia’s pies, you and Levi went upstairs to a room at the end of a long hallway. Nehale would now take the connecting room next to Historia’s, and while this bedroom was much smaller and less comfortable, you didn’t mind because you were in it with Levi.

The two of you undressed and climbed into bed. He told you about what had happened since you’d last seen each other. “Erwin wants to take back Wall Maria as soon as possible,” he finished, his expression darkening

“He...doesn’t want to lead the expedition himself, does he?” you asked, aghast at the thought.

“I think so.” Levi looked at you through his fringe; he needed a haircut and hadn’t yet bothered to get one even though he no longer had to live on the run. “I also think he shouldn’t do it.”

“I don’t think he should, either.” You took Levi’s hand. “But if he goes anyway, I know you’ll be there beside him, as always.”

He remained silent for a moment. “Erwin was the reason I stayed in the Survey Corps after Isabel and Farlan died,” he murmured.

“Yes,” you replied softly. “I also know you’re going to do whatever he tells you until one of you is dead.”

Levi’s thumb stroked the back of your hand, thinking. “You’re stronger than I am,” he said at last. “You’ve never asked for anything that would make me break my word to him, but you left the Survey Corps when I wanted you to.”

You shook your head. “I’m not stronger than you. Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not.” He shifted so that he was facing you. “I said once that being a leader isn’t about how many Titans -- or people -- you’ve killed.” Levi put his fingers under your chin, turning your face towards his. “Neither is this. You may be Historia’s favorite bodyguard now, sworn to protect her until you die or she releases you, but you’re as strong as ever.”

He kissed you, and you let him draw you down to the bed. You reached over and extinguished the lamp, pulling the blankets up as you shifted around to get comfortable enough to sleep. From downstairs there came a burst of laughter from those still sitting in the dining room, although Levi had told his squad not to stay up too late.

“Levi,” you said softly.

“What?” he murmured, his face pressed against the back of your shoulder.

“Do you remember what we promised each other the day we got married?”

“Of course I do.” He sounded surprised that you would ask. “Every time I have to unsheathe my blades or fire a gun or fight some fucker who may or may not turn into a Titan.”

“I think about it too, although these days it’s while riding in Historia’s carriage looking out for potential assassins instead of Titans,” you said.

Levi was quiet for a minute. “Want to know something else?” he asked, putting his arm over you and his lips near your ear.

“What?”

“I’ve thought about _you_ every day for the last six years, ever since we first met,” he said simply.

You let that sink in, his words carving themselves into your heart to remain there always, no matter what happened to you, or to Levi, or to the strange world you lived in. You had no guarantees in your life, you thought, except for one. He loved you.

“I’m glad,” you replied, as sleep began to overtake you. “Keep doing it.”

_END_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. 
> 
> \-- David Viscott, _How To Live With Another Person_
> 
> * * * * *  
> I hope the ending didn't disappoint. I chose to end it this way because I wanted to sort of write the story around canon, if that makes sense, and also, I didn't want to have any spoilers for the anime-only folks.
> 
> I found Levi probably the hardest to write out of all the canon characters I've used in various fics, but I tried to do him justice here. I also fleshed out Reader a lot because I wanted to show why Levi fell for her/you. I hope that wasn't too distracting.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this. 😁


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